Lessons In Travel
Posted on 21. Dec, 2008 by Susan in Motivation
I often tell my clients that learning coaching tools is like winning the mental lottery. Much of the time I literally feel like I’ve won the powerball. It’s because I’ve learned how to create thoughts and feelings that get me the results in my life that I want. It’s actually much better than just being a lucky ticket holder. I create the ticket. Much more fun.
Don’t Freak Over the Economy
Posted on 15. Oct, 2008 by Susan in Motivation
Video blog from Master Certified Life Coach Susan Hyatt talking about how to manage
your thoughts and anxiety during the economic "crisis. www.ideallifedesign.com.
Freedom From Fear
Posted on 14. Apr, 2008 by Susan in Motivation
The boogie man. Applying for a job promotion. Nuclear War. Going back to school. Your mom’s meat loaf. It doesn’t matter what the fear is, if it keeps you from becoming more of who you want to be, then it’s time to face it.
In Embracing Fear, author and therapist Thom Rutledge identifies two types of fear, your ally and bully. Fear can be an ally. It is a biological protective mechanism that is an instinctual response to danger. Steering clear of the neighborhood pit bull that enjoys snacking on ankles is a good example of healthy fear at work.
However, authentic fear’s ugly cousins, anxiety and worry, serve no practical purpose and “bully” us from successfully living our lives. Like when you skipped the company pool party because of anxiety about publicly wearing a swim suit. Or, when you didn’t apply to college, even though you wanted to become a dentist, because you were afraid you would never make it.
Is fearless living possible? How can we approach the invisible yet powerful kryptonite in our minds? Will mom ever leave gross leftovers out of her meatloaf?
Fight or Flight
The fastest way to determine if what you are facing is something to run from (like the pit bull) or stay with (like applying to school), is to ask yourself what you want. We want what we want, even in the company of fear. If your fear and desire are both communicating the same thing, flee. But, if you experience fear, and you really want that something anyway, fight. For example, you really want to participate in a triathlon but are scared that your swimming will not be up to par. Face your fear and learn how to do it anyway.
Just Do It
Nike’s genius marketing aside, they’re onto something here. When we allow ourselves to feel the fear, and muster the courage to do it anyway, we find freedom.
When we face what frightens us, we learn what we need to do to fulfill our desires. Perhaps we need to begin triathlon training, or hire a swimming coach. Fill in the blank: If I were brave enough, I would _________. Join the military? Take a class? Eat the meatloaf? Just do it.
Stink At It
What? Be willing to stink at it. Many of us sit on the sidelines because we fear we will not be able to do it perfectly, or even “good enough.” The only way to become better at anything, is to make mistakes, fail, get back up, and try again. So much time is invested in how we appear to others, that we miss out on life. Be willing to be terrible at something, to look like a fool, to gag on the meatloaf.
Many of us hang out on the sidelines of life, safe yet unfulfilled. The famous line from Eleanor Roosevelt, “Do something that scares you everyday,” is the mantra of how to turn fear into freedom. Evaluate what is stalling your progress. Step outside of your comfort zone and take some risks. Decide that your goals, your one life is more important than yielding to fear. Choose courage. Enjoy freedom.
What Winter Doldrums? Spring into Sunny Feelings Now!
Posted on 19. Mar, 2008 by Susan in Motivation
(This article was written and reprinted from my column in the Evansville Courier and Press.)
If the house is a wreck, Tivo is a favorite sport and the kids are arranging a coup, it’s time to peel away from the couch, put away the slippers, and take small steps to get out of that cabin fever rut.
The cold, gray gap between the glitz of the holidays and the sunny clarity of spring can throw some of us into winter doldrums. Sports fans are anxiously awaiting March Madness, gardeners are dreaming of getting their hands in the earth, and kids are thinking of sand boxes and sprinklers. How can we effectively change our routine now, when it’s still ice covered, cold and dreary outside? It takes some planning and effort, but the steps below can turn up the heat despite the weather.
De-clutter
Increased time indoors over the winter months can result in more clutter, like stacks of papers and magazines, and scattered gloves and toys. Tolerating clutter can create negative living patterns that make it difficult to live your best life. De-cluttering increases your energy level by eliminating procrastination guilt and mental energy drain.
According to organizational giant Peter Walsh, “a clutter-free, organized life is about living in a way that helps create your best possible life – happy, stress-free, creative, motivated and enriching.”
Grab a pen and note pad and evaluate your home, office and car. Write down anything that is even slightly off from the way that you want it. Select the top three areas that need improvement, or are the least satisfying to you, and create a plan to better them. Start small, such as cleaning out your magazine rack, the pantry or one drawer. You will build momentum as you feel the affects of clearing out things that are burdening.
Get Moving!
According to
Duke University
Pick something that you know you can do easily, like brisk walking, biking, or playing basketball with your kids. If the weather is not conducive, visit Lloyd Pool for an indoor swim, ice skate at Swonder Ice Rink, exercise at a gym, or pop in an exercise DVD. Light to moderate exercise can boost your mood for up to four hours.
Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Do little things that feel like spring time, now. Defy the weather and get outside anyway, especially during brief pockets of winter sunshine and soak up some Vitamin D. Treat the senses to a bouquet of flowers in your kitchen. Nurture your indoor plants. Retire the comfort food cookbooks and rev up with warmer weather cuisine. Listen to your summer music picks. Jimmy Buffet, anyone? Start planning outdoor activities and projects now, so that you are ready to go at the first sign of tee-shirt weather.
By simply adopting a few of these tips, you’ll create a sunny attitude no matter what the temperature. After all, it isn’t so much the season that dictates our mood, but our expectations.
Between Us
Posted on 20. Feb, 2008 by Susan in Motivation
Reprinted from my column in the March/April issue of eWoman Magazine:
It’s the time of year when renewal is in the air. The official launch of spring is a few weeks away, but you can almost feel the buds forming and caterpillars spinning their cocoons. It’s a beautiful transition time between winter and summer, and also a natural time of growth. Successful and balanced women know that the way to grow and stay truly successful, integrating personal and professional lives, is to pay attention and take care of you. Amidst the flurry of spring cleaning, landscaping projects, and all that the upcoming warmer months have to offer, what are you doing to foster a relationship with yourself? This spring, develop a contract for rejuvenation for you.
I can see your eyes rolling from here. Before you turn the page, I’m not suggesting that you sit in front of a bathroom mirror and chant affirmations, becoming your very own Saturday Night Live skit. And, it isn’t selfish to think about your emotional, physical and spiritual needs. In fact, self love is the best way to step up what you can offer others. I want you to consider all that you do for everyone else, from laundry to presentations, fundraisers to lunch boxes, and begin putting yourself first.
By balance, I’m not referring to driving an SUV while bluetoothing (yes, that’s my very scientific term) clients and eating lunch all at the same time. Balance is not about winning a multitasking award or finding ways to cram more things into your palm pilot. Nor is success always the big house, expensive cars and exotic vacations. I’ve found that the definition of success and balance is unique to each person, making the prescription a very individual thing.
The first step is to assess what is going on in your daily schedule. Evaluate a typical day by writing down everything that you do from the time that you open your eyes, to when your head hits the pillow at night. Every last bit of it. Writing it down on paper is a real eye opener, and will allow you to begin the next step. Then, evaluate the “have to do” items on your list. Bag the things that are not necessary, barter to other people what you can, and better what you must do.
Here’s the best part–by bagging, bartering and bettering your daily schedule, you will create space for living. Newly created blocks of time will surface, and instead of filling the gap with errands and phone calls, fill them with things to nourish your body, mind and spirit, every day.
As spring approaches, consider what a caterpillar needs to fly (metaphorically speaking): evaluation of her current form, a decision to become something new, alone time to cocoon and grow wings, and courage to take flight. The recipe for your own success is also an inside job. What can you do to find center, calm and wings? What does your cocoon look like? Spinning never sounded like so much fun.
Note to Self:
It’s time to spend some time on me. Starting today, split the carpool up among the neighbors, establish a firm chore list for the kids, and basically resign as “Manager of the Universe.” Join that art class that seems like fun, and go visit mom next month. Don’t forget to resuscitate your boss when you tell her you can’t pick up her dry cleaning anymore….
Susan Hyatt is a Certified Life Coach and owner of Ideal Life Design, located in
Evansville , IN.
Box Tips:
1. Spend at least 15 minutes of quiet, alone time in the morning to center yourself.
2. Assess the schedule. Bag it! Barter it! Batter it! What on the list can you eliminate, delegate, or improve for yourself?
3. List some ways to do something for yourself everyday. Come up with fun rewards that to look forward to.
4. Schedule time to treat yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
5. Watch productivity soar and your stress level dip…enjoy!
Tips to Achieve in 2008
Posted on 07. Feb, 2008 by Susan in Motivation
Column reprinted from my column in The Evansville Courier and Press
Have a resolution that gets you excited? If you are like most Americans, just the topic of declaring a resolution sends you right to the freezer for some Hagaan Daas. According to a recent AC Neilson study, half of Americans declare a New Year’s Resolution. Those who do, typically focus on their waistlines, wallets or hearts. A new year represents a clean slate, and we vow to lose those extra holiday pounds, finally start saving for retirement, and improve our personal lives. However, by the time this article is published, approximately one-third of those resolutions will already be history. It’s an age old tradition that generates a lot of buzz this time of year, but not much result.
According to a Department of Labor survey, procrastinating 33%, lack of discipline 24%, and no game plan 19%, were the top three excuses that participants gave for failed resolutions.
Still, most of us can’t help but assess the previous year and relish in the thought of life change. Is it possible to achieve goals that matter in the face of such a dim outlook? Should we just accept the extra padding on our backsides and the lack of cushion in our bank accounts? Heck No! Before your resolution hits the dumpster, try some proven goal planning techniques to create a life that you love.
Write Down 3 to 5 goals
Pick three to five areas that you want to improve. Try not to have too many goals going at one time to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Think about why you want to achieve each goal, and what will the achievements give to you? Becoming emotionally connected to the goal will increase the desire to achieve it. For example, “I choose to quit smoking so that I can improve my health, keep up with my grandchildren, and be there to watch them grow up” is much more compelling than, “I must stop smoking.”
Brooke Castillo, Master Weight Loss Coach, and author of If I’m So Smart Why Can’t I Lose Weight, advises clients to pick a goal that gets them excited, and write it down. “If the feeling reads anything other than excitement, we rewrite it. Goals should ignite our passions and inspiration.”
Once the goals are identified, write them down is very clear and specific language. “I’m going to lose some weight” is more easily abandoned than “I’m going to lose 25 pounds by reducing my calorie intake by 500 calories a day, joining a gym and taking Pilates three times a week.”
Turtle Steps
It is scary and overwhelming to think, “I have to save a ton of money for retirement right now!” This kind of stressful thinking leads us into New Year’s Resolution drop out status. Take each goal, and break it down into small, manageable steps. Review your budget, meet with a financial planner, and put a reasonable plan in place. Before you know it, you’ll be well on your way to a comfortable nest egg. It just takes one little change at a time.
Plan for Obstacles
Goals are challenges. There will be things that come up along the way to test your endurance. “I always make a list of all possible obstacles that could interfere with the attainment of the goal. I take each obstacle and have a plan to overcome or avoid it even before it arises,” Castillo adds. Think about possible obstacles, and strategies to deal with them as they arise.
Rewards
Write down and plan for how to reward yourself both when things are on track and ultimately achieved. Little things can go a long way. Make a list of daily, weekly, and annual ways to enjoy a job well done.
Susan Hyatt is a local Certified Life Coach and owner of Ideal Life Design. She can be reached at www.ideallifedesign.com.
Do You Need To Change Your Filter?
Posted on 24. Sep, 2007 by Susan in Motivation
No, I’m not talking about your air or water filters. This might sound a little strange, but what I’m referring to is your Life Filter. What’s the criteria that you have for whether you’ll say yes to a great opportunity, or no?
For example, I had an organization invite me to speak at their meeting and I was really excited about it. At first glance, I was doing back flips when I received the call. The group is the kind of group that I felt would really benefit from my Life Balance workshop, the participants are very motivated and fun, and the compensation was excellent. I had already formed some quick ideas in my mind of what I could do during my speech for maximum effect. The ideas were rolling. And then, I noticed one tiny detail that didn’t fit through my filter. The group only meets in the evening, during the workweek. A small detail, but probably the most important thing to me on my screening list. I rarely will commit to anything that interferes with my personal or family time during the work and school week. A few years ago, I probably would have still said yes, and watched the calendar fill up with things to the point of being overwhelmed. (Like the time I triple booked myself on my own birthday. Yes, that’s food for another blog entirely.)
It is so easy to get ourselves involved in things that we like and are worthwhile, but after some time, we begin to notice the stress and strain of "too much of a good thing." It is so important for us to be very intentional with our time, so that life doesn’t just happen to us.
A great way to avoid the hamster wheel trap, is to have a clear list of questions that you can ask yourself before you commit your time and energy to something. It helps to actually write it down. Something different and wonderful happens when we take the time to think about what we want, write it down, and tell other people about it. Things move from just making a mental note, to becoming reality. So, back to y
our list, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Is it something that I will enjoy doing?
2. Is it a good cause or worthwhile?
3. Will is positively impact my life and the others around me?
4. Does it conflict with my core values?
5. Does it interfere with time with my family? **Have a guideline for yourself, such as "I will only commit to x number of things that take me away from my loved ones." Once you reach that number for the week, you know the answer is no.
6. Does is cause me too much stress and hassle? If yes, is there something else that I could do for this person/charity/organization that would better fit my goals? Is there another way to help that is better suited for you?
Having a clear set of guidelines for yourself is a great way to create more of the life that you want. It isn’t selfish to do this, it is actually generous and kind. "The essence of being human is being able to direct your own life," Steven Covey
What’s Scary?
Posted on 27. Jul, 2007 by Susan in Motivation
"Do something every day that scares you." Eleanor Roosevelt
This is a picture of my son Ryan, after he helped his team score a goal. Second grade flag football. It scared him. Check out the worried and pensive fiddling with his mouth piece shot. I love that one. That’s the "before."
I met a really spiritually advanced teacher recently, named Byron Katie. She very clearly pointed out, that life gives us the teachers that we need in our lives. Especially our children.
While I’ve learned volumes of things from Ryan about life, one thing that I admire about him is that he quickly identifies what scares him, and he does it anyway.
When we enter any theme park, he has usually already researched among other kids to find out what is the scariest roller coaster or ride, and wants to do it first. Now, I know that he’s a bit scared, but he’s driven to do it. He likes to tackle big challenges. At what age do we condition ourselves away from what is challenging? When do we accept, like sheep, that going beyond our comfort zone is a bad thing?
What are the benefits of doing what is "scary?"
Well, we usually find out that it isn’t so scary after all, and the road blocks that we had built in our minds were all not true. On top of that, we get the chance to really live and experience new things.
So far just this year, Ryan has faced his wasp phobia, tubed twice as fast as any adult on our boat, snow mobiled through the continental divide, led a dog sled team, ridden roller coasters, and wants to build his own computer. Was he scared? (shhhh don’t tell him that I told you) YES! Did he love it afterwards? Absolutely!
What are you going to do today, and the next, that is scary?
I think I’m going to start jogging again. I’ve got a bunch of "you can’t do its" to unravel there.
Happy Trails!
Susan
The Unfinished Garden
Posted on 10. Jul, 2007 by Susan in Motivation
I have a neighbor who is an excellent gardener. I just realized this on my walk this morning. My life balanced Beagle was too exhausted from his vacation at the lake to join me (ha!), so I was alone to observe other things. I walk by this home every day, and there is almost always bushes unearthed, new flowers going into the ground, and mulch bags scattered around. Just when I think she is finished, and things look really picture perfect, my neighbor moves things around.
I’ll admit, in the past, I would think, "What is her deal? She’s never going to get finished." I realized this morning, that that’s the point. She LOVES to garden. Her flower beds are creative, not fussy, and her face just beams when she’s out there digging. It reminded me of a quote from Joan Anderson, "I am as unfinished as the shoreline along the beach…"
My favorite person in the world is in her early sixties, and she commented to me that she really didn’t feel eligible for coaching, because that was for younger people. Really? Is that true? Are we finished learning and growing and changing at 60? Grandma Moses didn’t think so. After 60 years of farm life sidetracking her from her true passion, painting, she picked up a paint brush at the age of 78. For the next 23 years, she painted thousands of pictures detailing her childhood, and died after exhibiting her work in 15 one woman shows. WOW. She certainly was unfinished!
So, I encourage you to think about the many changes and phases we all go through in our lives. Like my neighbor’s garden, we are all unfinished. Just when thinks look perfect, you might decide to uproot things, rearrange, or get a backhoe in there for major excavation! Your true talent and strength is just waiting to be discovered.
Think about it.
Susan shyatt@insightbb.com
Get Out of Your Head and Into Life!
Posted on 15. Jun, 2007 by Susan in Motivation
Are you ever living in the moment? Think about it. Are you fully present when you are with your family/friends/co-workers, connecting and contributing, or are you off in your head somewhere?
Here’s a personal example. A few years ago, Scott and I took the kids to Disney Land. I wanted it to be the BEST VACATION EVER. So, I went on a planning spree that organized every second of our time. I read books about the fastest and most efficient way to do the rides in the park, so that we wouldn’t miss any. I researched the best possible eating places, and made sure to put scheduled down time in our day so we would be well rested. Sound familiar? The vacation was a lot of fun, but one key ingredient was missing: me. Sure, I was in all the pictures, and heck, I was the CEO of the vacation. But I wasn’t connected. When we were in the Disney Park, I was thinking about what we needed to do when we went to Universal. When we were back at the hotel "relaxing," I was busy confirming our reservations. What really would have made the vacation more memorable for everyone? Living in the present. How different that vacation might have been, if I had chucked the itenerary, and just paid attention to the exciting things around us.
How often do we ignore the magical things right in front of us, just to rush off to another empty social event. When was the last time you spent a day without your cell phone? Does the thought of not checking your email cause your eye to violently twitch? haha As a society, we have become so "connected" through smart phones, the internet, pagers, etc…that we are literally disconnected from what really matters. Are you plugged in technologically, but unplugged emotionally and spiritually?
You can’t spend your time obsessing about the past, it’s gone. And, you aren’t yet in the future. The only thing your really have, is right here, right now.
Last night, I enjoyed dinner with three very amazing girlfriends. I was really there. My cell phone was tucked away in my purse where it belongs. My thoughts were only on the conversation at hand, and I really has a wonderful time. Someone said, "God, your face looks so relaxed!" I smiled. That happens when you take time to really be in life, and not just make plans about it.
If you would like a partner to help you start connecting with your life, email me at shyatt@insightbb.com.
Happy Friday!
Susan
Get The Book!
Featured In
