Dial It Up!

]]> http://ideallifedesign.com/blog/create-your-own-luck-series-on-fox-7/feed 0 http://ideallifedesign.com/blog/lose-it-in-sedona-may-13-16-2010 http://ideallifedesign.com/blog/lose-it-in-sedona-may-13-16-2010#comments Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:40:20 +0000 Susan Hyatt http://ideallifedesign.com/blog/?p=150 The fabulous Bridgette Boudreau and I are leading a weight loss retreat in Sedona May 13-16. Here’s what we have to say about it!

Get all the details and register at http://ideallifedesign.com/telecourses.html.

“I never get what I want, and it sucks!” My client was almost as irritated as I had been when Ray the Beagle, then a puppy, chewed through a Lands’ End shipping box and used four pairs of new leather school shoes as teething rings. Almost.

Martha Beck, the insanely talented genius who trained me, recently wrote in the first chapter draft of her new book in progress, The Team, (get your free chapter here) two questions that she asks herself continuously:

1. How did I get here?
2. What do I do next?

Fabulous questions to ask–especially since she asked them as she was faced with a mama rhinoceros protecting her young, during one of her retreats in Africa. Practical and useful given that situation. And, given my client’s circumstances.

Instead, I find that most of us, who are not getting what we think we want, are asking the wrong questions. Instead of the two simple path tweakers above, the decidedly “unlucky” will ask:

1. Who did this to me? And
2. Who is going to fix this for me?

Notice the difference? Hint: the second set of questions is victim like. No sense of independence or of living as a creator.

We can relearn how to create what we want from kids. Take my nine-year-old daughter, Emily, for example. Sassiness on wheels, she continuously astounds me with her resourcefulness. Despite being born into our clearly crazy family, and the fact that she has a life coach for a mother, she thrives.

Several months ago, Emily asked me if she could have a “girl. dog.” Apparently, I hadn’t noticed the huge problem that all of our pets (2 beagles, 1 cat, 2 ferrets and 1 hamster) were all male. The horror. I politely declined her invitation (over and over and over again) to add another thing that pees to our family.

Jake, soon to have a sister

She kept asking. She got more creative in her requests and propositions. Until one day, I took her bait. If you’ve ever read my blog or Facebook status updates, you know that Jake, our skinny Beagle, is a challenging subject. He’s not exactly bringing home trophies from obedience training. So when Emily offered to train Jake in exchange for getting a girl puppy, I agreed. Of course! This is a deal that I cannot lose! Train JAKE?! I laughed. She asked why I did not have faith in her. I told her that I had truckloads of faith in her, just not in her subject. I underestimated both of them.

Emily bought a booked called Dog Training for Dummies, watched my DVD’s of the Dog Whisperer, and bought special liver treats for her training experiment. We agreed on five tricks that she would teach Jake. Once Jake could consistently sit, stay, beg, drop, and do a circle trick, we would know that Emily had done her job.

I was so amused by her optimism.

A few days later, I was attending a “graduation ceremony” for Jake, complete with a special certificate Emily made him.

The darned dog was actually trainable! And Emily had done it! It was Emily’s turn for amusement. Now I am shopping for a girl puppy.

The lessons here are both simple and profound:

1. Ask yourself constantly: How did I get here, and what will I do next?
   Stop waiting for other people to solve your issues for you. It’s your life. Live it. Ask yourself powerful questions to create a vision.
2. Create a plan. Come up with tiny steps to inch toward your vision.
3. Celebrate! When you reach your vision, enjoy it!
4. Never underestimate the magic of strong intentions. Find. A. Way.

Brace yourself for an onslaught of blog posts about our new addition. I know she’ll be amazing, as she was created with the best of intentions.

As a former yo-yo dieter, I’m passionate about reconnecting women with their inner wisdom and the handiest weight loss tool around — their very own bodies. I’ve selected three popular weight loss tips that I invite you to drop. They don’t create lasting weight loss or inner peace.

Clean Sweep

You’ve seen these segments on TV. A weight loss “expert” will go into a dieter’s kitchen and fill a dumpster in their front yard with all their mayonnaise, Cheetos, bread, hamburger meat, and basically anything that contains more than 100 calories. The dieter cries, the “expert” tells her to suck it up, and the cameras capture this “motivating” encounter to “help” us understand that we are powerless to the fat gram. We need to clean out our fridges and pantries and purses if we ever hope to stuff our muffin tops into skinny jeans. We can’t be tempted.

After the camera crew leaves, and the dieter has had enough white knuckling, eating lettuce, and chewing on the baseboards, a tsunami of binging and self-flogging ensues. The dieter wonders what’s wrong with her and why she can’t lose weight. The truth is that deprivation just doesn’t work. You can’t hide from food. Food isn’t the issue in the first place. A lasting weight loss journey begins with understanding the thoughts and emotions that are creating the need to overeat in the first place. YOU can become your expert. So, what are you hungry for really? When you cure boredom with a plate of brownies, or stuff down anger with pizza, or create your entertainment through wine and cheese, notice it.

Three Square Meals

We’ve become a nation obsessed with eating according to external cues. We eat by the clock and abide by the rules of the Clean Plate Club. The Clean Plate Club does not allow snacking between meals, eating after 7 p.m., before 5 a.m. or on Sundays. I recently saw a very famous wellness guru Tweet to eat three 400-calorie meals a day with no snacking in between for successful weight loss. Is there no wonder why Americans SUPERSIZE our portions when we think we’ve got to get all we can in three meals? The truth is that your magnificent and miraculous human body is equipped to alert you when to eat and when to stop. This usually results in eating 5-6 times a day and a naturally thin body. It doesn’t matter what time of day that is. If you eat when you are hungry, and fuel your body according to its signals, you can bag all the crazy rules. Visit here to download a free Hunger Scale Guide.

Eat This Not That

Surf around on enough weight loss web sites, and you’ll be warned that you should not eat carbs, meat, egg, boysenberries, and actual real food. You can’t be trusted with any of them. Just go ahead and buy frozen, fake food so that you can control yourself. Ridiculousness! The truth that I have learned by honoring my own body, and working with hundreds of other women and their unique bodies, is that your very own body will TELL you what foods feel good and bad in your system. Guess what? Eggs, and orange juice, and cottage cheese feel just great in my body. They energize and fuel me. Not so for some of my clients. These foods feel sickly in their stomachs. It’s not a one-size-fits-all thing with food. Learning how to pay attention to how different foods actually feel inside your body through food journaling can free you from these crazy rules. Visit here to download a free Food Journal worksheet.

The diet industry has a lot to lose if you take back your power. In a $60 billion industry, it’s counting on you to continue using food in unhealthy ways. I challenge you to start your very own personal body revolution. It’s not about counting calories, weighing food, and over exercising. It is about learning how to think. You can do that. You can live at your natural weight. Just take the first sane and rational steps.

Join Martha Beck, PhD and best-selling author of The Four Day Win, Brooke Castillo, Master Coach and author of If I’m So Smart Why Can’t I Lose Weight?, and me for a weekend designed to help you lose the drama and the weight — January 22-24 in Phoenix, Arizona. Get all the details and register at www.weightlossforsmartwomen.com.

You guys know that I am holiday fanatic.  I know this is no surprise.  I’ve seriously cleaned up all of my Holiday Psycho Woman past stuff, and have a blast during the holidays.  That doesn’t mean that everything happens perfectly for me during the holidays. Don’t even get me started on my Dysfunctional Family Bingo Results from Thanksgiving, or how many gifts my beagle Jake has confused as “his toy.”

What’s cool about the season for me now, is my thinking.  Clean thinking keeps me calm and centered and happy regardless of negative circumstances that arise.  And, when my thinking is clean, I am clear about what I like, and what does not work for me.  And from that place, it’s easy to create a holiday season that is authentic.

So, even though yesterday Jake chewed the foot off of a very pretty and unsuspecting doll that was wrapped under the tree for Emily, and even though I attended a party that is not my favorite kind of gathering (because my seriously extroverted husband really wanted me to go with him), it was an awesome day.  I chose to be in “the Christmas spirit.”  I chose it.  Despite the footless doll.

I’ve talked to a lot of people who tell me that they “just aren’t feeling” it this year. Guess what?  Holiday Magic is not going to pull up in your driveway and honk three times to get your attention. You have to create it.  Despite how much money is in the bank. Despite how much you want to punch your boss. Despite the fact that your son married a life coach.  You can be intentional with your thoughts and create holiday cheer. You can. Yes. You.

I’ve got this simple little tool called “The Happy Basket” that sounds lame but really works.  It will help you turn toward what you love about the Holiday Season.  You can listen to a short two-minute explanation of the tool by clicking here, on the ipod image on my homepage.  Then, you can “Holiday Happy Basket” by clicking here to download the free worksheet.

The wise gurus say that life gives you your greatest teachers in your very own home. I believe that. As I was cleaning up the chewed up wrapping paper and doll parts off of the living room floor last night, Emily said, “She’s still beautiful, Mom.”  No, this little doll was not headed to the “Island of Misfit Toys.” She was redressed and taken immediately up to Emily’s room.  She is loved.

And so are you. Merry Christmas.

Almost everyone claims happiness, connection, love, peace. Okay, I get that you want the boots too, but stay with me here for a minute. Because, as much as you want those boots, you aren’t going to get the deeper things that you really want from them (even the clover ones).

Working with hundreds of clients to help them manage the holidays, it’s comical what we get wrapped up in, sometimes literally, during the holidays.  The decorating, cooking, eating, mailing, shopping, partying, baking, wrapping, stamping, color coordinating hysteria. These are all fine things to do as long as it feels happy while you are doing them. As long as you aren’t crying while you wrap that 500th gift to someone you barely know. As long as you aren’t eating when you aren’t hungry to stuff down disappointment. As long as you aren’t baking with bitterness. (Bitter baking just sucks.)

During this season, notice yourself. Notice if you are feeling tired or cranky. Notice if you are doing things that you do not want to do. Notice if you would rather just get it all over with. And, then, ask yourself WHY?. Listen for the answer.

And then, ask yourself how you can better create what you are really after:  connection, happiness, peace, joy. What could you stop doing? What could you think? What would feel more like love and peace and joy than what you are currently thinking and doing?

My biggest hope for you is that you are living your life as a thank you. A big, loud, jingle jangle THANK YOU. Palms up, smiling, embracing your life.

And maybe also wearing those Clover boots.

How you do one thing is how you do EVERYTHING.  Unfortunately, how I “did” the holidays five years ago, was over the top, manic, and based almost entirely on the shiny.  Shiny gifts, shiny ornaments, shiny windows, shiny catering for a shiny party, shiny holiday portraits, shiny china, shiny holiday newsletters. The glare was too much.

Sure, there were moments of authenticity and fun. But those moments were outnumbered by the crazy moments. Like the time that I tried to make a homemade gingerbread house with my kids, didn’t follow the directions, and it fell apart and onto the floor, along with our moods. Good times.

I’ve learned how to rethink and redesign the holidays, by learning how to think.  I even created a really handy workbook and short video coaching download on the topic.  And, this year, I’ve teamed up with my coaching colleague and Master Certified Mind Body Expert, Abigail Steidley, to talk about ways to create a meaningful and nourishing holiday season.  We will not be talking about things like setting egg timers so that you can race from room to room and get more crap done.  I took that class and have a frenzied wrapping paper story to tell you about during class. It wasn’t pretty.

We will be talking about the art of becoming who you want to be, during a holiday season that you want to have, by doing less physically and mentally.  Cause believe you me, even when I wasn’t setting egg timers to “efficiently” wrap gifts and bark at my kids, I was sitting around THINKING and OBSESSING about things like stocking stuffers and reindeer food. Exhausting.

What I wish for you this holiday season is to ditch drama, exhaustion, and over commitment.  I know first hand this creates a holiday that is unfulfilling, debt ridden, and a whole lot of work.  Defeats the purpose of “holiday.”

Read what Abigail has to say here. It’s pretty cool.  And join us for a four-week group telecourse that will show you how to easily create what you want.  Instead of a shiny holiday, I have one that authentically GLOWS.

I drink too much caffeine and I practically freebase liquid B12. Yes, I have a lot of energy. But believe it or not, these are not the reasons that I am so jacked up about things all the time. Jacked up in a good way, I mean.

I don’t always wake up excited, and I promise that I don’t burp rainbows. I’m a regular mom who sometimes finds herself unsuccessfully chasing her beagle in the rain, scraping Emily’s artistic creations off of the kitchen table, and trying to explain to her 11-year-old son that the movie American Pie (OMG) may not be live streamed from Netflix. This is why we lovingly refer to our home as the Hyatt Riot.

When I wake up to a beagle covered in green paint, or a sick child, I’ve learned that I can still create the feeling state that I want. I can decide how my day will go in spite of less than ideal circumstances. If I wake up anxious, or cranky, I can pick out a feeling state like I’m picking out my running clothes. I’ll have a little bit of excited, and a huge helping of passion, and a dash of motivation.

How? I developed a morning ritual that takes 15 minutes. You can take fifteen, right? Of course you can. Click here to get my free DIAL IT UP morning ritual worksheet. It’s a fast way to set your intention for the day. It helps you create good feeling thoughts to generate the feeling that you want. Then, you line up some inspired action and knock off at least one thing that isn’t serving you.

Today? I want to feel productive and calm. I decided to think, “You always get what you really need to, done and done well.” Ahhhhhh. Love that. One action that lines up with that is to prioritize my list of things to do. I’ve eliminated things that really do not matter, delegated much to my awesome and amazing assistant, and downloaded some new Joss Stone music to better my time. And, lastly, as my southern mama used to say, “KNOCK IT OFF.” I decided to stop compulsively checking email, just for my productive and calm today.

What? Jake is tipping over trash cans in the neighborhood again? Sorry, I’m too calm to chase him today.

Click to get your free Dial It Up form and newsletter subscription!

I started running in May, after an 18-year running hiatus. One sunny afternoon in May, while I was power walking and listening to my girl Pink on the iPod, something happened. I heard myself say, “Just run Susan.”  So I started to run and was fascinated that it felt great. I wasn’t bribing myself to work out. I hadn’t put it in my planner that I would run. But, here I was, running and liking it. Me! A former junk food junkie was running.

I ran as far as I could that day, and it turned out to be a mile and a half. Within a week I was running three miles, and within a month my friend Jill asked me to train with her for a half marathon. I decided that I would continue to LISTEN TO MY BODY. As long as it felt good, I was game.  Plus, I liked the cute running skirts.

Training

The weeks leading up to the marathon were challenging. Each week, we added a mile to our long runs on Saturdays. And every Friday, I would remind myself, “You can do this.”  Because with any goal in life, if your mind is not lined up with your body, don’t even bother. It will suck. Every weekend I was so enormously proud to burst in the front door and announce to my family, “I did it! 6 (7, 8, 9, 10) miles!” (Caffeine + runners high can be annoying for others who are just waking up on a weekend morning.)

The longer runs reinforced staying in the present moment for me. I would remind myself, “Susan, Stay In The Mile That You Are In!”  If I thought too far ahead about how many miles were left, I could get overwhelmed and the run would be harder. If I thought about how many miles I had run, I started feeling tired. I learned to take each mile, one at a time, and dedicate that mile to a topic, person, gratitude, and appreciation for the scenery around me. It’s a great tool to use when I am not running. Stay with the present moment.

 
The Big Day

I have to admit that from the moment I arrived at the event, I was a mixture of off-the-charts excitement and choking back sentimental tears. Here I was, looking official with a number pinned on my running clothes, standing with 2200+ runners, all brought together by a common desire to run. I looked at the sea of athletes and I thought, this is what it’s all about isn’t it? Showing up for yourself. How many successes in life are about just showing up and taking the first step? And here were 2200 of like-minded people, at 7am on a freezing 42-degree October morning, ready to go. I was overwhelmed.

I had intended on spending each mile thinking about new projects and family and friends that I love. But what I experienced instead during this half marathon nearly brought me to my knees. It was a Church service that I have never experienced inside of a church.  It was, quite simply, the closest that I have ever been to experiencing the Divine.

This is what I witnessed. Perfect strangers bundled up and standing along railroad tracks and busy roads to wave and cheer on us runners. Freezing volunteers handing out water and orange slices. Local musicians donating their time to stand on street corners to fill the air with music to keep us going. Cheerleaders with pom poms. Dancers getting their groove on to entertain us as we raced by. Families holding signs of encouragement. An 86-year-old man rockin the race–evidence that it is NEVER too late.Runners coaching each other to the finish line.

 
The Finish

As I kicked it into high gear during the last mile, I marinated in the lyrics of a Jennifer Lopez song, “Let’s Get Loud”:

If you want to live your life
Live it all the way and don’t you waste it
Every feeling, every beat can be so very sweet
You got to taste it, you got to do it
You got to do it your way

I left it all on the pavement. I was like a little kid again, crossing that finish line and collecting my Half Marathon medal. Big cheesy grin, full heart, showing love for myself and this amazing miracle of a human body.

It never would have happened if I wasn’t willing to listen to my inner voice. Listen to that little voice that encourages you to pick up something new. Running, dancing, sculpting, writing, knitting, scrap booking. Whatever the interest, DO IT. Show up, stay in the present moment, be grateful, and thank me later. Let’s Get Loud!

Special thanks:

Thank you to my Facebook friends who offered me encouragement, kudos, running advice and cheered me on virtually.

Thank you to the little girl in the red flannel pajama pants with the golden retriever who looked at me during mile 7 and said, “You go girl.”

Thank you to the Hadi Shriners who dressed in their kilts and played bag pipes, banged on drums, and clapped for us as we ran by.

Thank you to the little old lady with the ukulele on the side of the road playing her fingers off and smiling.

Thank you to the water station sponsors, who passed out cups of water and orange slices while shouting good job to me.

Thank you to the school band and flag team.

Thank you to the bundled up women wearing cowboy hats and ringing bells!

Thank you to the fierce motorcycle enthusiasts who wore their chaps and jeans along with their marathon volunteer tee shirts and directed traffic. You guys rock.

Thank you to the YMCA volunteers who stood at every mile marker and said, “Good Job!”

Thank you to the little kids at the train tracks who high fived me as I ran by. I’ve never felt more like a rock star.

Thank you to the perfect strangers who stood along the route wrapped on blankets and sipped coffee while shouting and cheering for us.

Thank you to my friend Jill, my running partner, who came out to cheer me on even though she was not racing.

Thank you to my new friend Francis, who made me coffee, drove to the event, showed me where to go and gave me expert running tips.

Thank you to my husband Scott who stood at the finish line with a camera, Gatorade, flowers and a big cheesy grin.

Thank you to my son Ryan, who stood in the cold with his dad when he would rather be playing video games.

Thank you to my daughter Emily, who wanted to leave her big camp weekend early to see me cross the finish line. Next time, Em.

I am forever grateful.

I get comments like this all the time from clients who are brand new to
thought work. Changing your thoughts does not mean that you become a
wimp. It does not mean that you trick yourself into believing that a
negative circumstance is all peachy and fresh as summer sunshine. It
means that you do not BECOME the negative situation, as my mentor Brooke Castillo would say.

A personal example…

Last night I was surfing the Internet. I found a program called Copyscape.
For free, it allows you to enter your web site address into a search
window, and it will scrub the net and report back to you within seconds
if content from your web site is used other places. So I did it. Guess
what? A coach in Chicago, who is on my mailing list, is using my new
web site content, word for word. I am not talking just a few paragraphs
here. Almost her entire web site, her “about me” section, her coaching
programs, all of it (except for a few references to cake) is my
writing. With her photo.

My short freak out included thoughts like:

• She is stealing my hard work.
• This is not right.
• What a slimy weasel (no offense to Ryan and Emily’s new pet ferrets).
• I can’t believe this.
• How DARE she!
• Oh no she di’int! (Clearly, she did.)

Would
most of you agree that plagiarism is not right? Sure. I’ve got a thread
on Facebook to prove it. But, I knew if I wanted to feel better, I
needed to get to work and replace these thoughts that felt extremely
icky.

Thanks to my pal Jackie Gartman, this is what I came up with:

• No one can steal my work. Not really.
• My
  web site copy is just a compilation of words. My real work is my truth,
  my energy and my light. That comes from within and backs up what I say
  on my site.

And, thanks to my new Facebook and Twitter friend Patti Digh–who had her writing plagiarized on the net and wrote a beautiful article
about it–I remembered that being authentic, and being yourself is its
own reward. It must not feel very good to need to use someone else’s
work as your own.

Now, I am sure you are wondering what is next.
What am I going to “do” about it. This is where is gets good. Because I
have cleaned up my thoughts, I can now take action from a very calm and
peaceful place. I can stand up for myself in an organized and powerful
way now that my thinking is not clouded with ick. It feels good to take
action from a clean place.

What can you do when something negative happens?

1. What you are thinking about the situation?
2. Does it feel good or bad? Write down the thoughts that feel bad.
3. 
   Notice how you feel when you think them. There is no up side EVER to
   feeling bad. There is no award for being a victim or martyr. Haven’t
   you noticed?
4. What can you think instead that you BELIEVE and that also FEELS BETTER?
5. Rinse and repeat.

I love the Byron Katie question, “Who would you be without that thought?”

I choose to continue to innovate, and not replicate.

Rock on, people!